Unthinkable (I'm ready)
by Jhill88
Summary: What I wished would have happened if Joss made it out alive after being shot. Features bits of Season 1-4 but none of 5 (that I'm aware of).


Author's Note: Hi guys! I kinda stepped away from writing for a bit, but was recently inspired by Alicia Keys- Unthinkable. It seemed like the prefect song for the kiss between CaResse and I hope I describe what I wished happened next. AU since Joss lives 💖

As John watched her recover from a bullet wound to the chest he wonders what would've happened if he hadn't have let himself get arrested. Yes John was drunk and tired, but he could've easily ran after beating up Anton and his crew. Thank goodness back then he was still suicidal.

When John meet Joss, which sounds like a 90's film, he was a goner in more ways then one. For the first time in years someone actually noticed him behind the invisibility and smell that came with being homeless and without the usual pity, Carter saw HIM. However John wasn't foolish, he knew the CIA would find him once she entered his DNA so he was resigned to her kindness and beauty. However, like all the love songs say, meeting her changed his life for the better.

Now years later John is ready to love again and he has her to thank. The beautiful Joss Carter never left his mind after the first time he saw her. He tried fighting his feelings, but nothing stopped him from watching her, annoying her, flirting with her, getting to know her and somewhere along the way lust changed into love.

"What? Something on my face?" The subject of John's thoughts interrupted.

For the past five minutes John silently stared at her, but Joss wasn't sure what she saw in his eyes

"I'm ready." John announced voice strong and sure.

"What?" Joss asked confused looking around.

John had made it his mission since she been shot to share Sunday dinner with her and the food wasn't finished, maybe he already had other plans she told herself.

"No, Joss look at me. I'm ready. Are you?" John replied looking straight into her brown eyes with a slight smile. He found her confused face adorable always did.

"Umm..." Joss said trying to figure out what he meant. "Let me change real quick I'm still not cleared for work, but I'll help you wherever I can."

Getting up from the coach and making her way to her room Joss figured that dinner could hold for another day because the number always came first.

"No you're not listening." John said standing and grabbing her wrist. "I'm ready."

"Wh..." Joss started to say before John pulled her to him and swooped in for a mind blowing kiss that she couldn't help but to respond to.

Hands roaming, moans and groans escaped before John pulled away slightly panting. John couldn't help but to find Joss looked sexier now. He knew he had to make himself clear even if he wasn't ready to let her go.

"Joss. I'm ready to do the unthinkable with you." John said watching her eyes finally clear some in understanding.

"I..." Joss laughed, breathless and still in shock over the kiss as her fingers unconsciously tightened on his white shirt keeping John near.

It wasn't the first kiss they shared, but John never once brought up the kiss from the morgue which made her believe she dreamed it or it was his way of saying goodbye. This kiss said so much more.

"If you ask me, I'm ready. The question is are you?" John whispered before kissing her softly again.

There was no denying Joss' interest in him. He knew from how taken aback she was when Zoe's announced that she was his wife that Joss had some kind of feelings for him, but he understood he had luggage. Joss already had enough on her plate being a single mom, helping him and her job.

Besides he wasn't ready then. Still stuck in the past with Jessica's ghost and being chased by every alphabet in the US a real relationship was out of the question. Or so John thought. His heart had different plans. When Joss got shot his brain finally agreed that his heart was right and now it was time she knew.

Joss stared at John silently unable to pretend anymore. For so long John was the sexy pain in her ass she knew she shouldn't like. He was a wanted man, he did illegal things, he got on her nerves, he still hadn't forgiven himself over Jessica's death and he obviously was involved with Zoe. Her lust became an unrequited crush and she tried moving on, but that didn't work.

After Cal was killed and she was demoted Joss put love on the back burner to find and arrest the head of HR along with all it's members. Knowing it was a dangerous mission Joss focused on helping Paul and Taylor repair their relationship, avoiding John as much as possible while on her free time while still helping him, updating her will as a precaution and following all those associated with HR. Her feelings for John started to seem like a silly school girl crush, apparently she was wrong.

Before she could answer though she reminded herself of the three women she was ashamed to say she was jealous of at one time or another. While she was pretty sure John wasn't having sex anymore with Zoe and Iris, in her opinion, was someone who should be repriminded for taking advantage of an emotionally unstable man John was interested in them. He even confessed to her after Iris kissed him that she reminded him a lot of Jessica. His love for Jessica wasn't something John often discussed, but Joss knew he never grieved properly. Joss had to know where she stood when it came to those ladies.

"What about Zoe or Iris John? Can you tell me you're ready to let go of Jessica?" Joss finally said trying unsuccessfully to loosen John's hold of her.

John shook his head gently smirking at his favorite detective doing what she does best; asking the hard questions. Lucky for him, he was ready to answer whatever she asked. Zoe was a way to fill the lonely hours while Iris was a opportunity to relive the past. Ironically Iris kissing him made John realize he had a better present and future with Joss. That is if she was willing to take the leap.

"There's no one else. Those women aren't you. Understand when I say I only want you." John stated as he tightened his grip on her waist letting her feel what her closeness did to him.

"And Taylor, I... we have to consider him. He won't be here a lot but I know he'll be here on long breaks." Joss replied hoping John didn't think she was trying to find excuses especially that now Taylor was in college, but they had to cover every variable.

"He's OK with this." John quickly assured Joss. To be honest after talking to Taylor and getting his permission, ok didn't even cover the young mans joy.

That news didn't surprise Joss. Ever since John saved Taylor when he was kidnapped, Taylor always made it a point to ask about or talk about John. Taylor made it known he thought they'd make a great match on several occasions.

"So what are we talking here? Dating... or something more. You know I don't... John are you sure." Joss asked still unsure about this. While Joss was sure John thought this through, John was known to make irrational choices in the heat of the moment.

John just smiled then took her left hand in his before placing over his heart. "Jocelyn Carter hear and believe me when I tell you I ready for forever with you."

Hearing John call her by her full name for the first time while staring in his blue green eyes and feeling his heartbeat beneath her palm broke Joss' resolve

"One final question" at John's growl Joss giggled.

"What would you say, if I said I was ready too?"

Joss got her answer in completely silent apartment before John pulled her forward for another kiss. Needless to say dinner was a slightly charcoal snack in bed between the new couple.

"Unthinkable my ass." Joss yawned before falling asleep the next morning.


End file.
